3 Minutes Plus 1

I'm missing my kids tonight....

I'm in Nashville by myself...Cal and I had a wonderful weekend here together, but now he left to go home and I'm still here.  I'm so jealous that he gets to kiss all their precious cheeks tonight when he gets home late and finds them sleeping in their beds.  I have to wait another 3 days.

I was just thinking about what I would be doing if I were home right now...I'd be going through that whole bedtime routine thing...that routine that often makes me crazy, but that tonight I miss...

It starts with the "bednight" snack.  (I realize that word doesn't even make any sense....it should be "bedtime" snack, but in our house its "bednight".)  This almost always consists of vanilla icecream from the gallon tub that probably contains more high fructose corn syrup than any dairy product and Hersey's chocolate syrup.  However, tonight they probably acutally did get to enjoy the expensive Breyer's All-Natural Vanilla Bean because I was having a healthy moment at the grocery store last week and splurged.  However, there seems to me to be something fundamentally wrong with putting Hersey's syrup on Breyer's natural vanilla bean...I'm not sure.

Then after snack, we move on to the pj's and brushing teeth stage of the night.  If I'm going to lose my cool, this is when it will happen.  Undoubtedly, there are 500 distractions between snack and jammies and for some reason I need to remind them what we are doing as many times over.

Then the part I am missing tonight -- tucking them all in.  For Taryn I still curl up in her bed and read a story.  Then we shut off the lights, sing her prayers, and then I lay by her "3 minutes plus 1".  "3 minutes plus 1" has become such a part of our ritual that I hardly remember when it started.  All I know is what started out as a way for me to negotiate how to keep her in bed and to maneuver my way out of her room is now a cherished part of my night. 

It started as, "Taryn you need to stay in bed. "
And  her saying "You need to lay by me".
"O.K. -- I'll lay by you for 1 minute"
"No 5 minutes"
"How about 3 minutes?"
"O.K.  3 minutes." . . .
"3 minutes is up"
"Just one more"

Until finally we didn't need this debate anymore -- It was just "Mommy, can you lay by me 3 minutes plus 1?"  And I knew it was easier to just roll with it.
Recently, there have been nights that I kissed her goodnight and walked right out her bedroom door.  A bit of my heart ached that she didn't ask for the "3 minutes plus 1."  I have seen Paige and Carter graduate to new bedtime routines and I'm not sure I'm ready for her to.

For Carter -- I still get to pull his covers up, sing prayers with him and give him a kiss.  He most often reads to himself now because it's the only time in his day to get his required school reading in.

For Paige -- if she isn't working on homework late, she reads for a while and then I still get to go in, pull up her covers and give her a kiss.  But we don't sing prayers anymore...now I just remind her -- "Don't forget to pray."

And tonight -- since I can't tuck them in personally -- I will tuck them in with my prayers for each of them. And I will find comfort in the words of Psalm 139:
3 You discern their going out and their lying down;
you are familiar with all their ways.
5 You hem them in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon them.

(Italicized words I changed from first person)