While this could be a romantic little story about a weekend get-a-way with my husband, I am genuinely sorry to say -- it is not.
It is still Spring Break and I am continuing to try to fill up our days, so I decide a trip to the Sioux Center Aquatic Center would be just the thing. Cal needed to head to Iowa anyway to help lay tile in his brother-in-laws kitchen – so I thought the kids and I would just leave Sioux Falls a little later in the day and we could kill some time at the pool.
I knew that getting out of the house to head to Sioux Center would be no small task. It happens to be the Saturday before Easter and I still don’t have shoes for Paige’s Easter dress, or one chocolate bunny for the Easter baskets. So a little last minute shopping must occur. I also need to pack overnight bags for the 3 kids and myself and pack the swim bag. So I set up my mental clock of how much time I need to devote to every task in order to leave the house by 1:00. (This doesn’t sound like it should be too hard, but I’m still in my PJ’s at 10:00am – so I’m off to a late start.)
Paige, bless her soul, is my life-saver. I put quite a bit of responsibility on my 11-year-old and I give her a list of everything that needs to be packed and send her to task while I go buy the Easter basket goodies at Wal-Mart (perhaps my most hated destination on a Saturday morning – especially venturing into the “holiday” aisle the day before the holiday). I grab three of the last 6 chocolate bunnies on the shelf and try to free myself from the Wal-Mart madness.
When I return, Paige has EVERYTHING packed and sitting by the front door. What a girl!
We arrive at the pool right on schedule. While the morning has been hectic, I’m thinking I’ve got it together. We go into the family locker room and start pulling out towels and suits and I hear a gut-wrenching “Nooooooo”.
I turn around “What? What’s wrong?” Paige, with tears in her eyes “I forgot my suit! I was so busy packing for THEM, I forgot my suit.”
I must say – I was remarkably cool and sympathetic. While my first instinct was to say “Honestly! How do you possibly forget your swimsuit when the whole plan for the day is to go swimming?”, the thought didn’t turn into words – which is quite an accomplishment for me. Usually whatever I think comes out my mouth.
Rather, I say to my 5’5” 11-year-old daughter – “It’s O.K. You can wear my suit.” She looks at me like I’m a little nuts, but I say – “No really, just go try it on.” (For the first time in my life I’m a little happy that I am quite flat-chested. It is a little embarrassing to admit that my curves don’t much challenge those of a pre-teen figure.)
She puts it on, and with a strategically placed pony-tail holder around the neck strap – we are back in business. She decides to brave the pool in her mother’s suit – baggy bottoms and all.
Carter and Paige take off together – jumping off the board and going down the slides and remarkably the swim suit stays put! It is fun to see the two of them acting as friends.
Taryn is perfectly content to stay in the shallow pool and practice her newly discovered talent of doing back floats and tummy floats. She has a running dialogue going between herself and her imaginary swimming students.
I sit on the side and do nothing, for the first time in … I don’t remember the last time I did nothing. And I didn’t have to get wet!
Not a bad day after all!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Craft Time -- Uhggg!
I had a realization today – nothing pushes me over the edge faster than crafts and I should just stop trying.
For some reason I have continued to allow myself to believe that in order for me to be a good mother that I must do crafts with my children. It doesn’t matter that doing craft projects turns me into a frustrated, manic freak – it’s what good moms do. Right?
Here’s the scene for today…
It’s the first day of spring break and the kids are already bored. So we take a field trip to Hobby Lobby to find a craft for the 3 of them.
We start out the adventure through Hobby Lobby with Taryn straddling one side of the cart making it terribly lopsided, giving me visions of it toppling into the towering display of glass bottles. She says to me, “Do you know why I’m sitting like this, Mommy?” -- “No, please tell me Taryn” – “To hold my pee in.”
Why is it that the minute I enter any large store the first thing my kids must do is use the bathroom in the farthest corner. Anyway – 15 minutes later we are back on our mission to find a craft. Carter successfully picks out a wooden bird house and Paige some letters -- all of which need to be painted. We find the right paint for wood (non-washable!!!!) and are almost on our way. All Taryn wants is a glass jar to put stickers on and lotion in (I’m thinking I can handle that craft).
As we arrive home around 5:30, I realize Paige needs to be somewhere by 6:30 – I need to get her supper and be on our way in a half an hour – yet Carter and Taryn feel they must do their crafts right away!!! I talk Taryn out of it – but Carter moves forward with his craft – the paint is out, the neighbor boy and girl are hovering “Can we paint too, Can we paint too?” -- all this activity on my kitchen counter where I am trying to make supper – I am proud of myself for keeping my cool while Carter paints his first coat.
After supper – craft time starts in earnest. Carter is now painting at the dinning room table. He has out two colors of paint and 15 brushes – all covered in paint. Why he needs 15 brushes for one little birdhouse is beyond me. Taryn’s lotion project turns into mixing lotion in a plastic baggie with glitter and scented oil (as the craft magazine suggests).
Within two minutes Taryn has exploded the bag of lotion and it is oozing all over her, me, the table, the floor, and the chair. At the same time, Carter has managed to set his elbow in the NON-WASHABLE paint.
However, this mess doesn’t seem to phase either one of them, they have moved on from their crafts and are both asking me for food. “Mom can you slice me an apple and warm up some caramel sauce and I’m thirsty.” “Mommy, can you slice all of the sections of a grapefruit for me – oh and I’m thirsty too.” Seriously! They just ate supper. (Although – I am impressed with the ‘healthy snacks’ they were requesting!)
But by now I’m over the edge – covered in lotion and trying to keep paint from spreading. I yell -- “I am only one person – how do you expect me to clean up both of your messes and get you both food – you expect me to do everything around here. You can get your own ice water – or just wait. This is why I HATE crafts.”
When I get done with my tirade, I sincerely hope it didn’t sound as harsh as I felt – but I’m not sure. However, my kids don’t seem phased by my explosion which either means – it didn’t sound as bad as I thought – or they are used to it.
I often wonder if God uses these situations to try to teach me patience – I spend time reflecting afterwards that I fall ridiculously short in managing my frustration. My kids deserve a mom that doesn’t “lose it” during craft time.
OR is God trying to teach me wisdom – is He telling me – Jen you can’t do it all – stick with what doesn’t make you crazy – your kids will survive without a craft. And they might even thrive with a happy mom.
I seriously don’t know which lesson I am supposed to learn, but for tonight I pick:
No More Crafts = Happy Jen.
Then I wake up the next morning and see Carter’s red, white and blue bird house sitting on the table with the words “Welcome Birds” spelled out in his precious 8 year-old handwriting and I’m not so sure anymore.
For some reason I have continued to allow myself to believe that in order for me to be a good mother that I must do crafts with my children. It doesn’t matter that doing craft projects turns me into a frustrated, manic freak – it’s what good moms do. Right?
Here’s the scene for today…
It’s the first day of spring break and the kids are already bored. So we take a field trip to Hobby Lobby to find a craft for the 3 of them.
We start out the adventure through Hobby Lobby with Taryn straddling one side of the cart making it terribly lopsided, giving me visions of it toppling into the towering display of glass bottles. She says to me, “Do you know why I’m sitting like this, Mommy?” -- “No, please tell me Taryn” – “To hold my pee in.”
Why is it that the minute I enter any large store the first thing my kids must do is use the bathroom in the farthest corner. Anyway – 15 minutes later we are back on our mission to find a craft. Carter successfully picks out a wooden bird house and Paige some letters -- all of which need to be painted. We find the right paint for wood (non-washable!!!!) and are almost on our way. All Taryn wants is a glass jar to put stickers on and lotion in (I’m thinking I can handle that craft).
As we arrive home around 5:30, I realize Paige needs to be somewhere by 6:30 – I need to get her supper and be on our way in a half an hour – yet Carter and Taryn feel they must do their crafts right away!!! I talk Taryn out of it – but Carter moves forward with his craft – the paint is out, the neighbor boy and girl are hovering “Can we paint too, Can we paint too?” -- all this activity on my kitchen counter where I am trying to make supper – I am proud of myself for keeping my cool while Carter paints his first coat.
After supper – craft time starts in earnest. Carter is now painting at the dinning room table. He has out two colors of paint and 15 brushes – all covered in paint. Why he needs 15 brushes for one little birdhouse is beyond me. Taryn’s lotion project turns into mixing lotion in a plastic baggie with glitter and scented oil (as the craft magazine suggests).
Within two minutes Taryn has exploded the bag of lotion and it is oozing all over her, me, the table, the floor, and the chair. At the same time, Carter has managed to set his elbow in the NON-WASHABLE paint.
However, this mess doesn’t seem to phase either one of them, they have moved on from their crafts and are both asking me for food. “Mom can you slice me an apple and warm up some caramel sauce and I’m thirsty.” “Mommy, can you slice all of the sections of a grapefruit for me – oh and I’m thirsty too.” Seriously! They just ate supper. (Although – I am impressed with the ‘healthy snacks’ they were requesting!)
But by now I’m over the edge – covered in lotion and trying to keep paint from spreading. I yell -- “I am only one person – how do you expect me to clean up both of your messes and get you both food – you expect me to do everything around here. You can get your own ice water – or just wait. This is why I HATE crafts.”
When I get done with my tirade, I sincerely hope it didn’t sound as harsh as I felt – but I’m not sure. However, my kids don’t seem phased by my explosion which either means – it didn’t sound as bad as I thought – or they are used to it.
I often wonder if God uses these situations to try to teach me patience – I spend time reflecting afterwards that I fall ridiculously short in managing my frustration. My kids deserve a mom that doesn’t “lose it” during craft time.
OR is God trying to teach me wisdom – is He telling me – Jen you can’t do it all – stick with what doesn’t make you crazy – your kids will survive without a craft. And they might even thrive with a happy mom.
I seriously don’t know which lesson I am supposed to learn, but for tonight I pick:
No More Crafts = Happy Jen.
Then I wake up the next morning and see Carter’s red, white and blue bird house sitting on the table with the words “Welcome Birds” spelled out in his precious 8 year-old handwriting and I’m not so sure anymore.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
A Snapshot of my Chaos
Schools Out! I go pick up the kids from school and end up bringing home two additional kids that aren't mine and shipping one of mine off to someone else's home. The joy of playdates!
We walk in the house take our shoes off in the laundry room and our two guests promptly walk into a puddle of pee left by our dog -- wipe up the pee, rummage through drawers for clean socks. Now it's snack time. Carter's friend has a very restricted diet due to severe nut allergies. The friend has an apple while the other three eat a bag of cheetos, pudding, fruit, whatever they can get their hands on. At one point I notice Carter has found a bag of Croutons which he is eating -- along with his friend -- he says "I checked the ingredients -- they are fine." I'm not so sure...I stand by ready with the EpiPen.
My parents stop by with their friends from Michigan who are visiting -- I would love to spend time catching up with them all -- so we sit down together in the living room as I frantically try to clear the "stuff" off the couch, floor, chairs. The phone rings, the doorbell rings -- now the neighbor boy is also in my house, my cell phone rings, Taryn's friend wants a movie, Taryn wants to play with the boys, Paige's piano teacher comes to the door -- oops forgot it was piano lesson day -- Paige isn't here -- I apologize profusely, Taryn's friend's dad is at the door to pick her up -- I hand him pee soaked socks (I didn't even think to put them in a plastic bag -- just wet socks.) I give hugs to my parents and their friends who have decided to bolt. Can't say that I blame them. I wish they'd take me with!
We walk in the house take our shoes off in the laundry room and our two guests promptly walk into a puddle of pee left by our dog -- wipe up the pee, rummage through drawers for clean socks. Now it's snack time. Carter's friend has a very restricted diet due to severe nut allergies. The friend has an apple while the other three eat a bag of cheetos, pudding, fruit, whatever they can get their hands on. At one point I notice Carter has found a bag of Croutons which he is eating -- along with his friend -- he says "I checked the ingredients -- they are fine." I'm not so sure...I stand by ready with the EpiPen.
My parents stop by with their friends from Michigan who are visiting -- I would love to spend time catching up with them all -- so we sit down together in the living room as I frantically try to clear the "stuff" off the couch, floor, chairs. The phone rings, the doorbell rings -- now the neighbor boy is also in my house, my cell phone rings, Taryn's friend wants a movie, Taryn wants to play with the boys, Paige's piano teacher comes to the door -- oops forgot it was piano lesson day -- Paige isn't here -- I apologize profusely, Taryn's friend's dad is at the door to pick her up -- I hand him pee soaked socks (I didn't even think to put them in a plastic bag -- just wet socks.) I give hugs to my parents and their friends who have decided to bolt. Can't say that I blame them. I wish they'd take me with!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Where do I Go?
My dear friend unknowingly gave me some real clarity a while back about how far I've come from my "perfect mom" picture.
We were helping in our daughters' preschool class during their “Harvest” party. The teacher had three "stations" set up for the parents to help at – making pumpkin pancakes, a pumpkin craft, and pumpkin carving. My friend says to me jokingly “Where are you going to go Jen – you don’t like to cook, you don't like crafts, and you’re not so good with a knife." (Little story about a trip to the emergency room after stabbing my hand while carving my hard-as-a-rock rice krispy bars out of a pan.)
Oh well. Taryn was thrilled I was there.
And just so you know -- I helped with the pumpkin pancakes and they were darn tastey!
We were helping in our daughters' preschool class during their “Harvest” party. The teacher had three "stations" set up for the parents to help at – making pumpkin pancakes, a pumpkin craft, and pumpkin carving. My friend says to me jokingly “Where are you going to go Jen – you don’t like to cook, you don't like crafts, and you’re not so good with a knife." (Little story about a trip to the emergency room after stabbing my hand while carving my hard-as-a-rock rice krispy bars out of a pan.)
Oh well. Taryn was thrilled I was there.
And just so you know -- I helped with the pumpkin pancakes and they were darn tastey!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I'm No Super Mom
11 years ago, shortly after my first child was born, I remember saying to a good friend of mine who was also a new mom "I really think that I am going to be good at this job (motherhood)" Oh, the naiveté.
On top of it all, I had this picture of the "perfect mom" that I was going to be. One who loved making cookies, who loved coloring & crafts, who played 'house' for hours and never got bored, who had mountains of patience and perfectly behaved children.
Well, it didn't take long to realize how drastically short of that picture I was going to fall. And I often felt like everyone else had it so together -- everywhere I looked there were "supermoms."
It has just been in the last few years that I have allowed myself to give up the guilt of not living up to the image that I had created in my head of what every good mom should be.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm still on the quest to improve my mothering efforts. But I've accepted the fact that I'm a mom who:
Doesn't like to cook
Doesn't like crafts
Hates scrapbooking
Does not have a clean house.
Dreads any school project that involves parent creativity
Often found yelling "Would you all please stop talking"
Has failed to teach her children to stop interrupting (thus the yelling)
Has kids who think the floor is where they hang their coats
And the most dreaded -- has forgotten her child at school (only once, honestly).
What I do know, however, is that at the end of every day my kids have been smothered by my love for them and prayed over fervently. I am smart enough to know that it is only by the grace of God that they will turn into the people He intends them to be.
On top of it all, I had this picture of the "perfect mom" that I was going to be. One who loved making cookies, who loved coloring & crafts, who played 'house' for hours and never got bored, who had mountains of patience and perfectly behaved children.
Well, it didn't take long to realize how drastically short of that picture I was going to fall. And I often felt like everyone else had it so together -- everywhere I looked there were "supermoms."
It has just been in the last few years that I have allowed myself to give up the guilt of not living up to the image that I had created in my head of what every good mom should be.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm still on the quest to improve my mothering efforts. But I've accepted the fact that I'm a mom who:
Doesn't like to cook
Doesn't like crafts
Hates scrapbooking
Does not have a clean house.
Dreads any school project that involves parent creativity
Often found yelling "Would you all please stop talking"
Has failed to teach her children to stop interrupting (thus the yelling)
Has kids who think the floor is where they hang their coats
And the most dreaded -- has forgotten her child at school (only once, honestly).
What I do know, however, is that at the end of every day my kids have been smothered by my love for them and prayed over fervently. I am smart enough to know that it is only by the grace of God that they will turn into the people He intends them to be.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Honestly Jen
I am by nature an honest person. I have never been able to tell a lie. Even on April Fools day, when I'm allowed to lie, I start to sweat.
I am also very honest about who I am. I think sometimes I'm so transparent about my many shortcomings that I make myself look bad. I don't mean to belittle myself, I just have a hard time hiding anything. And I guess I'm not too worried what people think.
I believe one reason for my honesty, especially in the area of motherhood, is that I am looking for someone to come along side of me and say ... "I'm just like that...You are not the only one who loses it while doing crafts with your kids." However, I don't often get that response.
Maybe that's why I've started this blog -- to 'fess up about all the areas I fall short. Not to beat myself up, but to look at my shortcomings, maybe learn something from them, put them in perspective and hopefully find some humor along the way.
I am also very honest about who I am. I think sometimes I'm so transparent about my many shortcomings that I make myself look bad. I don't mean to belittle myself, I just have a hard time hiding anything. And I guess I'm not too worried what people think.
I believe one reason for my honesty, especially in the area of motherhood, is that I am looking for someone to come along side of me and say ... "I'm just like that...You are not the only one who loses it while doing crafts with your kids." However, I don't often get that response.
Maybe that's why I've started this blog -- to 'fess up about all the areas I fall short. Not to beat myself up, but to look at my shortcomings, maybe learn something from them, put them in perspective and hopefully find some humor along the way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)